I understand now.
When you think you have thought 2 steps ahead of something in order to control it, you just went into the trap that 2 steps you took to just turn the table around. After that, you think there always be a way out just to comfort yourself from getting hurt with the reality, before you melt down and crushed along side with your dreams. In fact, there was no way out; it’s either you suffer yourself to the agony truth in that trap or take your own life. Nothing will benefit. Life is a losing game.
Note: I hate you, self.
